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Sep. 29th, 2011 | 01:48 pm

*deep breath* I dont even know where to start. I'm not in love with her, I mean I guess I could let this go if I had to. She's my best friend, she's the coolest fucking person I've ever met. I just love being around her. I knew this shit would happen, I knew I would let my feelings get in the way of things and now all I want to do is kiss her. I don't even know if I tried my hardest if it would work, because I don't want to try my hardest. I don't want to change the course of anything at all in mine or her's lives. I want something easy and comfortable that just happens to fucking happen and when it does it's great. I haven't cried in a long time, I don't think I even know how to anymore. All of the music that used to make me sad- just doesn't anymore. No songs remind me of anything I want to cry over, no thoughts bring back a time in my life that I missed. But I digress. This has never happened to me before. I've never been interested in a girl that wasn't interested in me. (Much less a girl with a boyfriend). Oh fucking well. This is perfect anyways I guess. She sleeps by me almost every night, I see her just about every single day and we have a ton of fun together without any actual committment and at the same time she's my best friend. This is exactly what I wanted, right? Just as long as shes not using me. And it's all peachy until I know she's with her boyfriend. BLAH. Why am I ranting? I dunno, I'm bored at my moms house and there is no baby to play with me. Tonight I will be getting absolutely plastered and we'll see how I feel after that. G'day.

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